I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this boner is exhausting
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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