Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
