my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
