It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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