Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
