Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
