Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
