You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
