i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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