she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize