last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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