he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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