You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
