What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
