if you like me you must not know who I am
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
