I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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