i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
