I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
