Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
