Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
