Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
