Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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