Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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