we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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