OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
