ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
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trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're like the curious george of whores
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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