That's intense
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
