I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
