i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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