did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i believe in u and ur pee
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
