Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
