Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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