So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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