i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
