there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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