Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
