ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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