Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize