white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
