? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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