Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
