dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
