Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
