A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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