i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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