Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
