You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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