Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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