party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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