You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
