i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
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