butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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