Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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