What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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