My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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