we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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