just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
