what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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