we have officially lost it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
