i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
soo... how was my night?
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