im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
