You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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