so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize