do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize