flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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