Barsexuality is the new black.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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