yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
