there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
