never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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