she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
